Teaching Yoga is hard. It’s fun, but really hard. It’s not for the faint of heart and honestly, I think you have to have a huge ego. You have to NOT care about anyone else but yourself, what you are really doing and to constantly say AND believe that you are the best. Truthfully I’m not like that. I’m insecure. I’m not super flexible. I don’t have a rockin’ body. I am 26 days shy of my 50th birthday. Divorced. Mother to three girls. (2 teenagers and one 20 year old.) A broken family as they say… This is for sure not where I thought I would be at 50.

Now this is in no way to make you feel sorry for me. I do have the luxury of being a yoga teacher, I love teaching a full class and working when I choose. But let’s be honest, I’m not in it for the money. I turned to yoga for the community and let me tell you it’s rather disappointing. The problem is we have ventured to far away from what yoga is and what it was meant for. Now I am no historian or PhD in religion but historically, like way, way back yoga was used for healing. Its methods were passed down through oral history…Not too strange for the daughter of 2 famous folklorists to fall into. I wanted to heal myself, find my spiritual path, connect to my higher power and in the very beginning…become a faster runner, so I could win races.

I began practicing in my 30’s when my children were babies and immediately saw results. But then I got divorced and sobbed every stinking time I went to my mat. No one could tell me why. As we moved through our sun salutations I would just begin to cry, by the time we got to the hip and heart openers I was a snotty mess and needed to take stock in Klenex. My yoga teacher at the time couldn’t tell me what was happening so I stopped. It was too much of an emotional drain. I had little children to take care of and if I was having a good day I could not afford to turn into a blubbering idiot and get nothing done. My divorce was painful, it was more like a war than anything I had ever experienced and the fighting goes on to this day. Sad actually. But I digress….

After a couple of years, a multitude of injuries and winning several races I turned back to my mat. I spent a weekend with 200 of my closest family members and some of us chose to practice yoga outside, on an island, overlooking “Golden Pond.” It was breath taking. Later that day while surfing the net I came across an ad on living social. I went home to a new studio and had an instructor who was simply amazing and there was a reading at the end that was just what I needed to hear. I came back the next day. Same teacher, different reading and again just what I needed to hear. So I kept coming back. The yoga was feeding my spiritual need and healing my body. I saw that yoga was more than just exercises, or asanas for those in the know. There was a deep spiritual connection and the people seemed so nice.

Within a year I was doing my 200 hour training, then moved on to my 500 hour training. I was learning all I could and finding my tribe along the way. But soon after I had graduated and taught for several months I realized that the yogic community was not really yogic at all. People are jealous, people are fearful and let’s be honest when you throw money into the mix well then things just get tricky. People want the money and they don’t really care how they get it. I kind of find it funny because all the teacher trainings out there talk about the ethics of yoga. It’s kind of a joke. Yes, yoga teachers for the most part are ethical on the big things but not really so much when it comes to community. They stab you in the back, they promote themselves and only themselves, they will even teach in a plethora of studios and while in that studio say “come to my class over at this other studio.” Meanwhile the studio owners are pouring money into advertising and social media when their teachers are just taking the students away. People are attached to teachers and the teachers want that attachment, even though in trainings we are taught not to be attached. Yoga teachers are super willing to help you and tell you how to do things as long as you pay them. I get millions of emails on how to get more students or market my business, I just have to pay them and the information I get may or may not be helpful. Yogis in my experience rarely do anything for free. I only have one girlfriend who actually teaches yoga for the love of teaching and does it for FREE.

Let’s face it. We all want to be noticed. We all want to be appreciated. We are all looking for community. I just don’t understand why we can’t support each other and get along. Lift each other up and all rise to the top together. Aren’t we all just tying to get to a higher plane? Money does not buy you happiness folks, believe me, I was married to it and I didn’t know how miserable I was until it all came crashing down around my ears. Glad I’m not tethered to that any more. People with lots of money are a different breed of people. My father taught me something very important about money when I was growing up. Money only buys you time and space. He’s right really. It just buys you time and space. What you do with that space is what’s important. You only have one life. Does it really serve to just pump yourself up and say that you are the best and cut other people down on your way to the top? To take others for granted and not acknowledge them for all they do? The yoga industry is really no different than corporate America. It’s just a way to make a buck. That’s not what I am looking for. I’m looking for a way to heal. A way to fill my spiritual cup. To fill the need that I have inside to be connected to myself and my higher self. To treat people with kindness and to treat myself with kindness. To help me be the best person that I can be and to create peace of mind. Who’s with me?

The same is true with any argument or inconvenience. We get fixated with our side and how right we are. The other person is totally in the wrong and their timing is just so inconvenient! Maybe it’s actually happening to show you something else, to teach you something else. Recently I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend right before I left for a few days of skiing and we didn’t talk for most of the trip. Partially, because I was stunned and confused but also because I was in Utah skiing at the amazing mountain, Snowbird in the Wasatch-Cache forest.

That miscommunication, that argument, caused me to be really focused on my skiing and my trip. Out on the hill, as I was coming down, I could feel my feet pressing into the boots. The movement of the skis sliding on the snow, the sweat dribbling down my back as my lungs burned from the high altitude. I was 100% present and it felt amazing! My mind completely clear. My only thoughts were on the invisible lines blazoned in the snow marking my descent. A childish glee swelled up inside my body and filled my heart joy. As I made my way down the mountain and came to rest at the bottom I realized it had been months since I had no other thought in my mind, except for what I was doing. No need to reach out to anyone, no need to solve a problem, no deadline to meet, no class to prepare. My only thoughts were how my body floated over my skis and how I would remain upright until I reached the bottom. My legs would burn, western trails are far superior to the short east coast ones. No matter how much training you do nothing can really prepare you for long, steep trails and high altitude. It’s really like reaching heaven yet remaining on earth.

There was no texting; no interruption. I only pulled out my phone when I needed to take a picture. Communications only occurred after dinner or around the time I needed to find my daughter or meet my cousins for dinner. No one was popping up on my screen to chat or sending me a notification that a document needed to be signed. I didn’t want to talk so I put away my biggest distraction and it felt great. Had I not gotten into the argument I’m certain my trip would have been very different. Would I have been so present? I’m not so sure. We have now been trained to stay connected through texting, snapchat and other forms of social media. The argument allowed me to put away my phone and only pull it out when deemed necessary.

The argument also gave me the luxury of time and space. Time for me and space to grow. It allowed me the time to realize how much I miss the west and my deep love for snow and skiing. It allowed me to FEEL tremendous joy. It helped me come back to center and remember who I was. Yes, let’s face it and I am totally guilty…. I get lost in being a mom, someone’s girlfriend, a yoga teacher and yes, my work. Don’t you? I know I forget to take care of myself. I put others needs in front of mine. That’s what we do as women… I forget how important it is to stay in my center and work from there. We all have better results when we are working from or core being. The argument made me see that even when I go to my mat I am not purely focused on the practice. I’m thinking about my next class or how to incorporate a new move or what should I teach tonight????? When do you turn off your mind and become fully present? How do you do it? Had I not had an argument I would not have remembered how. I would not have remembered that I hadn’t been present and how much I was actually missing.

The moral of all this is to look beyond what is happening to you in the moment. Look at the good that comes out of the bad. Look for the beauty in the mistake. Look at the adventure created by a wrong turn. Not the interruption to your trip or the added length. The delayed flight does not happen to inconvenience you but to show you something. Look beyond the inconvenience and see what lies there. Look for the truth in the situation. Ultimately there is a reason and it is always to support you in some way. So, the next time your child breaks a plate or you argue with your spouse look beyond it and see how it is helping you, not hindering you. Find your truth.

~Namaste

Number one on the list is keep a calendar! It doesn’t really matter what kind, there are millions if you are a digital person consider google calendar or iCal. These are nice because you can sync them with other people’s calendars in the family to know who is where when. Believe it or not I still love the paper calendar. I like to see it in bold print. Also, when I write it down I’m more likely to remember it. When I see the whole month laid out in front of me I am able to figure out where I can fit in time for myself. The first thing I always put on the calendar is my yoga practice. Yes I put it on the calendar. Do you know why? Because if I don’t I won’t do it and before you know it I’ve spent all my time teaching yoga and carting kids around and that feeling of overwhelm kicks in. Then I put in my teaching schedule. Those are the two things that drive my calendar. After those things are in I put in all appointments, kids schedules, vacations etc… When everything is entered I then look at places where I can squeeze in a run or hike. But remember I began planning my calendar around my yoga practice; that is sacred time for me. Where do you plan for your sacred time?

The second most important things is don’t over schedule. I recall the phrase 10 pounds of s**t in a five pound bag. Yes, you want your kids to have a fun summer and do lots of different things, but ask yourself do you really want to drive them there? It’s ok for kids to have to find their own entertainment. Don’t get me wrong camps and play dates are amazing but having them know how to play on their own is priceless! No is a beautiful word. Plus, if you haven’t over scheduled them there is more time for you and for your family. Maybe you want to take a day trip or do a family hike.

Third create a plan. You can be flexible within that plan, but none the less have a plan. The days that make me the most crazy are when I have NO plan, not even a skeletal plan ~ you know the ones. The ones when you think maybe I’ll do this and then I can go…. I always think “Oh yes! A day with nothing, who-hoo! But then it just gets wasted and I rarely get anything accomplished or do what I would really like. Best bet is to write something down commit to it and put some boundaries around it. If you don’t you’ll find yourself pulled in a million different directions and feeling like you can’t do anything right. You’ll be left with that awesome feeling of guilt that slowly eats away at your self-confidence and at the end of the day you’ll be saying where the heck did that day go?!?!

Fourth, let go of the guilt that any of this may cause. This is a hard one because as parents we want our children to be happy and know that we are there for them. But for those times that they come and ask you for something and you are trying to get something else done before answering yes my darling of course I will help you stop and ask a few questions. Does this have to be done right now? How soon do you need it? Can anyone else help you? These three simple questions cannot only open an amazing conversation but it eliminates drama and teaches your own children to plan. It also shows them that you are more than their Mom or Dad but that you have a life too. You have things that need to get done. Once you know the answers to all the questions then you can find the best option that works for you. It also eliminates the guilt. Someone once told me that guilt is really just fear that you are doing something wrong. If you open up a conversation there won’t be guilt because everyone gets a voice and the best decision is made.